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Is your child too small? Does he not eat enough?

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  • Ellyn Satter
  • Older Baby / Almost Toddler
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  • Is your child too small? Does he not eat enough?
Mother and child reading a book together on bed.

Why do you think your child doesn’t eat enough?

Why do you think he is too small?

What does his growth chart say?

Does his weight follow close to the same line?

Chances are, there is no problem:

  • Some children are just small, others are big.
  • Children know how much they need to eat.
  • Some children don’t eat much, others eat a lot.
  • Children eat more one day than another.
  • Most thin children fill out when they get older.
Abstract shapes in grayscale, swirling motion.
Be careful not to get pushy with feeding. Your child will push right back, and eat less, not more. Struggles about eating will make him too small. Instead, trust him to eat and grow the way that is right for him.

Here is what to—and not do—to help your child to eat and grow well:

Feed him the best way. Have him join in with regular family meals and sit-down snacks at set times.

Don’t wait for him to ask for food. Don’t feed or give drinks (except water) on the run.

Have the same meal for everyone. Include high-fat and low-fat food.

Don’t have low-fat meals. Don’t push high fat food. Don’t give special food.

Let him eat little or much. Let him down from the table even if he doesn’t eat.

Don’t try to get him to eat more than he wants. Don’t give him other food right after the meal.

Let him eat little or much. Let him down from the table even if he doesn’t eat.

Don’t try to get him to eat more than he wants. Don’t give him other food right after the meal.

Eat with him. Talk with him. Be easy-going company while he eats.

Don’t leave him to eat alone. Don’t ignore him. Don’t talk too much. Don’t mess with his food. Don’t watch TV during meals.

Include “forbidden” foods at family meals and sit-down snacks.

Don’t push high-calorie treats. Don’t give treat handouts.

Keep your nerve; let him grow his way.

Don’t try to get him to grow your way.

Eat with him. Talk with him. Be easy-going company while he eats.

Don’t leave him to eat alone. Don’t ignore him. Don’t talk too much. Don’t mess with his food. Don’t watch TV during meals.

Include “forbidden” foods at family meals and sit-down snacks.

Don’t push high-calorie treats. Don’t give treat handouts.

Keep your nerve; let him grow his way.

Don’t try to get him to grow your way.

If you have trouble feeding in the best way and trusting your child to grow well, ask for help from a dietitian or other health worker who understands feeding.

Baby crawling on soft carpet, smiling with curiosity.

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    Side-Lying Hold

    1. For the right breast, lie on your right side with your baby facing you.
    2. Pull your baby close. Your baby’s mouth should be level with your nipple.
    3. In this position, you can cradle your baby’s back with your left arm and support yourself with your right arm and/or pillows.
    4. Keep loose clothing and bedding away from your baby.
    5. Reverse for the left breast.

    This hold is useful when:

    • You had a C-section
    • You want to rest while baby feeds
    • You are breastfeeding in the middle of the night
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
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    Cross-Cradle Hold

    1. For the right breast, use your left arm to hold your baby’s head at your right breast and baby’s body toward your left side. A pillow across your lap can help support your left arm.
    2. Gently place your left hand behind your baby’s ears and neck, with your thumb and index finger behind each ear and your palm between baby’s shoulder blades. Turn your baby’s body toward yours so your tummies are touching.
    3. Hold your breast as if you are squeezing a sandwich. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Instead, bring your baby to you.
    4. As your baby’s mouth opens, push gently with your left palm on baby’s head to help them latch on. Make sure you keep your fingers out of the way.
    5. Reverse for the left breast.

    This hold is useful when:

    • Your baby is premature
    • Your baby has a weak suck
    • Your baby needs help to stay latched
    • Your baby needs extra head support
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
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    Clutch or “Football” Hold

    1. For the right breast, hold your baby level, facing up, at your right side.
    2. Put your baby’s head near your right nipple and support their back and legs under your right arm.
    3. Hold the base of your baby’s head with your right palm. A pillow underneath your right arm can help support your baby’s weight.
    4. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Bring baby to you instead.
    5. Reverse for the left breast.

    This hold is useful when:

    • You had a C-section
    • You have large breasts
    • You have flat or inverted nipples
    • You have a strong milk let-down
    • You are breastfeeding twins
    • Your baby likes to feed in an upright position
    • Your baby has reflux
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
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    Cradle Hold

    1. For the right breast, cradle your baby with your right arm. Your baby will be on their left side across your lap, facing you at nipple level.
    2. Your baby’s head will rest on your right forearm with your baby’s back along your inner arm and palm.
    3. Turn your baby’s tummy toward your tummy. Your left hand is free to support your breast, if needed. Pillows can help support your arm and elbow.
    4. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Instead, bring your baby to you.
    5. Reverse for the left breast.

    This hold is useful when:

    • Your baby needs help latching on
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
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    Laid-Back Hold

    1. Lean back on a pillow with your baby’s tummy touching yours and their head at breast level. Some moms find that sitting up nearly straight works well. Others prefer to lean back and lie almost flat.
    2. You can place your baby’s cheek near your breast, or you may want to use one hand to hold your breast near your baby. It’s up to you and what you think feels best.
    3. Your baby will naturally find your nipple, latch, and begin to suckle.

    This hold is useful when:

    • Your baby is placed on your chest right after birth
    • You have a strong milk let-down
    • You have large breasts
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position