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Understand your infant

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  • Ellyn Satter
  • Newborn / Infant
  • Infant
  • Understand your infant
Mother gently holding sleeping baby in her arms.

How is your baby different now
from when she was first born?

What can she do now that she couldn’t do before?

What does she like?

From age 2 to 3 months, she starts to learn about love.

She shows she loves you and finds out that you love her back. You show your love when you feed your baby the way she wants to be fed. She feels, “I must be pretty special to be treated this way.” Don’t worry about spoiling her. You can’t spoil a little baby.

Here is what your baby can do:

  • She smiles and laughs on purpose, not just by accident.
  • She watches, smiles, jabbers, and reaches out to get your attention and to keep you close.
  • She gives more clear signs and eats better than when she was a newborn.
  • She maybe sleeps better – but maybe not if she an uptight baby.
"Stylized abstract pattern with geometric shapes and lines."

Here is a game to help you get on the same wavelength with your baby.

  • Put her in an infant seat, sit right in front of her. Look interested, sit quietly, and look at her.
  • When she makes a sound or moves, gently copy her. Don’t be loud or exciting. She will perk up and take an interest in you.
  • Wait for her to move again or make another sound. Copy her again, and so on.
  • After you play a while, she will look away. Sit still and wait. She needs to calm down from playing such a fun game. When she looks back, wait to copy her again.

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    Side-Lying Hold

    1. For the right breast, lie on your right side with your baby facing you.
    2. Pull your baby close. Your baby’s mouth should be level with your nipple.
    3. In this position, you can cradle your baby’s back with your left arm and support yourself with your right arm and/or pillows.
    4. Keep loose clothing and bedding away from your baby.
    5. Reverse for the left breast.

    This hold is useful when:

    • You had a C-section
    • You want to rest while baby feeds
    • You are breastfeeding in the middle of the night
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
    Yellow circle with abstract, jagged shapes and patterns.

    Cross-Cradle Hold

    1. For the right breast, use your left arm to hold your baby’s head at your right breast and baby’s body toward your left side. A pillow across your lap can help support your left arm.
    2. Gently place your left hand behind your baby’s ears and neck, with your thumb and index finger behind each ear and your palm between baby’s shoulder blades. Turn your baby’s body toward yours so your tummies are touching.
    3. Hold your breast as if you are squeezing a sandwich. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Instead, bring your baby to you.
    4. As your baby’s mouth opens, push gently with your left palm on baby’s head to help them latch on. Make sure you keep your fingers out of the way.
    5. Reverse for the left breast.

    This hold is useful when:

    • Your baby is premature
    • Your baby has a weak suck
    • Your baby needs help to stay latched
    • Your baby needs extra head support
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
    Cat playing with butterfly in a garden.

    Clutch or “Football” Hold

    1. For the right breast, hold your baby level, facing up, at your right side.
    2. Put your baby’s head near your right nipple and support their back and legs under your right arm.
    3. Hold the base of your baby’s head with your right palm. A pillow underneath your right arm can help support your baby’s weight.
    4. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Bring baby to you instead.
    5. Reverse for the left breast.

    This hold is useful when:

    • You had a C-section
    • You have large breasts
    • You have flat or inverted nipples
    • You have a strong milk let-down
    • You are breastfeeding twins
    • Your baby likes to feed in an upright position
    • Your baby has reflux
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
    Peach circle with abstract shapes radiating outward.

    Cradle Hold

    1. For the right breast, cradle your baby with your right arm. Your baby will be on their left side across your lap, facing you at nipple level.
    2. Your baby’s head will rest on your right forearm with your baby’s back along your inner arm and palm.
    3. Turn your baby’s tummy toward your tummy. Your left hand is free to support your breast, if needed. Pillows can help support your arm and elbow.
    4. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Instead, bring your baby to you.
    5. Reverse for the left breast.

    This hold is useful when:

    • Your baby needs help latching on
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
    Smiling peach character waving cheerful hello.

    Laid-Back Hold

    1. Lean back on a pillow with your baby’s tummy touching yours and their head at breast level. Some moms find that sitting up nearly straight works well. Others prefer to lean back and lie almost flat.
    2. You can place your baby’s cheek near your breast, or you may want to use one hand to hold your breast near your baby. It’s up to you and what you think feels best.
    3. Your baby will naturally find your nipple, latch, and begin to suckle.

    This hold is useful when:

    • Your baby is placed on your chest right after birth
    • You have a strong milk let-down
    • You have large breasts
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position