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Giving up the breast or bottle

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  • Ellyn Satter
  • Older Baby / Almost Toddler
  • Older Baby / Almost Toddler (9-12 Months)
  • Giving up the breast or bottle
Child drinking from a green cup, wearing a bib.

When do you want your child to stop breastfeeding or taking the bottle?

How do you feel about weaning him?

Do you think he will be upset? Will you?

Weaning doesn’t have to be hard or painful.

In fact, you started weaning when you first gave solid foods. You will finish when your child stops taking the breast or bottle. When that happens is up to you and him.

Your child weans himself by gradually losing interest in the breast or bottle. You just have to let it happen.

When he eats family meals, he fills up on solid foods and milk from a cup. If you don’t offer a nipple-feeding at mealtime, he doesn’t miss it.

Toddler drinking from cup, sitting on chair.

Here is how to wean, step by step:

  • Have him join in with family meals by giving him soft and easy-to-eat family food. Give him formula or breastmilk in a cup.
  • Don’t offer a breast- or formula-feeding before, after, or along with the meal. If you do, he won’t learn to eat family food.
  • After your child is a year old and eating 2 or 3 ounces of table food at the meal, you may put pasteurized whole milk in the cup.
  • Stop feeding on demand. Offer the breastfeeding or formula-feeding for snacks, at set times between meals.
  • Change from nipple feeding to cup drinking at snack time when you are both ready.
  • He may not drink much milk from the cup at first, but he will drink more when he gets better at it. Keep offering milk at meals, not anything else except water.
  • When he is sick or upset, your child may want the breast or bottle again for a while. That’s fine. When he feels better, he will lose interest in nipple-feeding.

What kind of milk?

Whole milk is best for your child.

Skim milk, 2%, and 1% milk have less of the fat he needs for energy and brain growth. Keep in mind there is no rush about changing from formula or breastmilk to regular milk.

If your child was a preemie or had a slow start for any other reason, it’s best to keep him on breastmilk or formula for a while longer. Don’t feed unpasteurized milk of any type at any age.

Pouring milk into a glass on burlap mat.

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    Side-Lying Hold

    1. For the right breast, lie on your right side with your baby facing you.
    2. Pull your baby close. Your baby’s mouth should be level with your nipple.
    3. In this position, you can cradle your baby’s back with your left arm and support yourself with your right arm and/or pillows.
    4. Keep loose clothing and bedding away from your baby.
    5. Reverse for the left breast.

    This hold is useful when:

    • You had a C-section
    • You want to rest while baby feeds
    • You are breastfeeding in the middle of the night
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
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    Cross-Cradle Hold

    1. For the right breast, use your left arm to hold your baby’s head at your right breast and baby’s body toward your left side. A pillow across your lap can help support your left arm.
    2. Gently place your left hand behind your baby’s ears and neck, with your thumb and index finger behind each ear and your palm between baby’s shoulder blades. Turn your baby’s body toward yours so your tummies are touching.
    3. Hold your breast as if you are squeezing a sandwich. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Instead, bring your baby to you.
    4. As your baby’s mouth opens, push gently with your left palm on baby’s head to help them latch on. Make sure you keep your fingers out of the way.
    5. Reverse for the left breast.

    This hold is useful when:

    • Your baby is premature
    • Your baby has a weak suck
    • Your baby needs help to stay latched
    • Your baby needs extra head support
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
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    Clutch or “Football” Hold

    1. For the right breast, hold your baby level, facing up, at your right side.
    2. Put your baby’s head near your right nipple and support their back and legs under your right arm.
    3. Hold the base of your baby’s head with your right palm. A pillow underneath your right arm can help support your baby’s weight.
    4. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Bring baby to you instead.
    5. Reverse for the left breast.

    This hold is useful when:

    • You had a C-section
    • You have large breasts
    • You have flat or inverted nipples
    • You have a strong milk let-down
    • You are breastfeeding twins
    • Your baby likes to feed in an upright position
    • Your baby has reflux
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
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    Cradle Hold

    1. For the right breast, cradle your baby with your right arm. Your baby will be on their left side across your lap, facing you at nipple level.
    2. Your baby’s head will rest on your right forearm with your baby’s back along your inner arm and palm.
    3. Turn your baby’s tummy toward your tummy. Your left hand is free to support your breast, if needed. Pillows can help support your arm and elbow.
    4. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Instead, bring your baby to you.
    5. Reverse for the left breast.

    This hold is useful when:

    • Your baby needs help latching on
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
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    Laid-Back Hold

    1. Lean back on a pillow with your baby’s tummy touching yours and their head at breast level. Some moms find that sitting up nearly straight works well. Others prefer to lean back and lie almost flat.
    2. You can place your baby’s cheek near your breast, or you may want to use one hand to hold your breast near your baby. It’s up to you and what you think feels best.
    3. Your baby will naturally find your nipple, latch, and begin to suckle.

    This hold is useful when:

    • Your baby is placed on your chest right after birth
    • You have a strong milk let-down
    • You have large breasts
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position