Food, Feelings, and Finding Balance: Understanding Disordered Eating

January 21, 2026 General /Family

Food, Feelings, and Finding Balance: Understanding Disordered Eating

Kelli almost spilled her morning coffee when she heard her 4-year-old say, “I’m getting fat. I need to lose weight.”

Her heart sank. She knew those words sounded a lot like the things she said to herself every day.

Kelli often skipped meals, tried every new diet she saw online, and worked hard to get back to her “before-kids” body. But now she wondered, Have I gone too far? Could this be a sign of something more?

You’re not alone if you’ve had similar thoughts. Many parents feel pressure to look a certain way, and it’s easy for that stress to spill over into how we talk about food and our bodies.

What Is Disordered Eating?

Disordered eating includes habits and thoughts about food that don’t feel healthy or balanced. These can include:

What Are Eating Disorders?

Eating disorders are medical and mental health conditions. They can affect your body, your feelings, and your everyday life. Anyone can have an eating disorder – no matter their age, body size, or background.

Types of Eating Disorders:

Anorexia Nervosa (AN)	People with AN fear gaining weight and severely limit their food. They may over-exercise, use laxatives, or eat very little.
Binge Eating Disorder (BED)	People with BED eat large amounts of food in a short time and often feel out of control. They may eat to cope with stress or difficult feelings.
Bulimia Nervosa (BN)	People with BN binge eat and then try to “undo” it by vomiting, over-exercising, or using diet pills or laxatives.
Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID)(BN)	ARFID is not about body image. Instead, people with ARFiD avoid certain foods because of texture, taste, fear of choking, or past scary experiences. Kids may seem “extremely picky” and may feel stressed or afraid at mealtimes.

Why This Matters for Parents

Kids notice everything – especially how we talk about our bodies and food.

Moms and caregivers are powerful role models. When you speak kindly about your body, choose balanced meals, and enjoy food without shame, your child learns to do the same. Eating disorders can affect kids too. Children of parents with eating disorders are more likely to struggle with feelings, behavior, and food. Your own healing can help protect your child.

And remember, there’s no single cause for disordered eating. Genetics, stress, emotions, and social pressure all play a part. Disordered eating is common – about 22% of kids worldwide struggle with it. But help is available, and recovery is possible.

You Deserve Support

If you ever feel worried about your eating habits – or your child’s – reaching out for help is a strong, loving step.

Where to Start:

Free Helplines:

Learn more:

REFERENCES:

Martini MG, Barona-Martinez M, Micali N. Eating disorders mothers and their children: a systematic review of the literature. Arch Womens Ment Health. 2020 Aug;23(4):449-467. doi: 10.1007/s00737-020-01019-x. Epub 2020 Jan 14.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7368867/

National Eating Disorders Association. (2025). What is the Difference Between Disordered Eating and Eating Disorders?
https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/what-is-the-difference-between-disordered-eating-and-eating-disorders/

National Institute of Mental Health. (2024). Eating Disorders: What You Need to Know.
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/eating-disorders

Neumark-Sztainer D, Bauer KW, Friend S, Hannan PJ, Story M, Berge JM. Family weight talk and dieting: how much do they matter for body dissatisfaction and disordered eating behaviors in adolescent girls? J Adolesc Health. 2010 Sep;47(3):270-6. doi: 10.1016/j.jadohealth.2010.02.001.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2921129/

Pastore, Maria et al. Alarming Increase of Eating Disorders in Children and Adolescents
The Journal of Pediatrics, Volume 263, 113733, December 2023.
https://www.jpeds.com/article/S0022-3476%2823%2900596-6/fulltext

Roach E, Viechnicki GB, Retzloff LB, Davis-Kean P, Lumeng JC, Miller AL. Family food talk, child eating behavior, and maternal feeding practices. Appetite. 2017 Oct 1;117:40-50. doi: 10.1016/j.appet.2017.06.001
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/pmid/28587941/

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2024, July 26). Eating Disorders.
https://www.samhsa.gov/mental-health/what-is-mental-health/conditions/eating-disorders

By Bridget Swinney, MS, RDN, LD

Food, Feelings, and Finding Balance: Understanding Disordered Eating

Food, Feelings, and Finding Balance: Understanding Disordered Eating

What Is Disordered Eating?