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The Picky Eater Playbook: Feeding without the Fuss

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  • The Picky Eater Playbook: Feeding without the Fuss
March 19, 2025 Children

Baby making a face at offered baby food
Sometimes feeding young children can feel like a battle. What if you could be confident that your child will get the nutrition they need without the stress?

Here’s some good news:

You Can!

The key is understanding the division of responsibility in feeding.

As a parent, your role is to provide nourishing meals and snacks at regular times. Your child’s role is to decide whether and how much to eat. This approach helps create a positive mealtime experience and encourages healthy eating habits over time.

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Most children go through a picky eating phase, often starting around age 1 or 2 years of age. This is when they begin to express opinions about food. One day they love carrots; the next day, they won’t touch them. This is completely normal!

Try these tips to support your picky eater and help them build healthy eating habits for life:

Respect Their Appetite

Don’t force your child to eat or insist they clean their plate. Pressuring them can lead to power struggles and negative feelings about food. Instead, encourage them to listen to their bodies. Let them ask for more if they’re still hungry or stop if they’re full. Keep mealtimes structured by having everyone sit at the table together, even if your child isn’t eating.

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Get Them Involved

Kids are more likely to try new foods when they’re part of the process. Invite them to help with meal prep, set the table, or clean up. At the grocery store, let them pick out colorful fruits or vegetables. These small tasks help them feel included and excited about mealtimes. For older kids, teaching cooking skills can have lasting benefits. Research shows that teens who learn to cook eat more fruits and vegetables
as adults.

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Explore and Play

Encourage your child to explore their food. Talk about the color, shape, smell, taste, and texture of different foods. Fun activities like taste tests can make trying new foods less intimidating. For example, have them compare the sweetness of apples or the crunchiness of different crackers. When food feels fun, kids are more open to it.

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Teach the “Why” of Healthy Eating

Kids are curious by nature. Use this to your advantage by explaining why certain foods are good for their growing bodies. Research shows that when children understand the benefits of healthy foods, like fruits, vegetables, and beans, they’re more willing to eat them. Share simple, age-appropriate messages like, “Carrots help you see better.” or “Yogurt helps you grow strong.”

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Offer a Variety

Serve meals and snacks at regular times throughout the day with a mix of nourishing and tasty options. Even if your child doesn’t eat much at one meal, they’ll have plenty of chances to get the nutrition they need. Repeated exposure to new foods helps children become more comfortable with them. The key is to remain patient – your child may need to see a new food 15 or more times before they are willing to try it.

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Create a Calm Mealtime Environment

Kids are more likely to try new foods when mealtimes are calm and pleasant. Turn off the TV and put away electronic devices so your child can focus on eating and enjoying family time. A relaxed atmosphere makes food exploration feel safe and positive.

Calculator with crossed-out tape measure overlay
Make Food Fun

Brighten up meals with creative touches! Cut sandwiches into fun shapes, create silly food faces, or serve colorful fruits and veggies. Older kids might enjoy unexpected meals, like breakfast for dinner, or experimenting with dips and sauces. Smoothies made with vibrant fruits and vegetables are another
great option.

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Skip Dessert Bribes

Using dessert as a reward can send the message that sweets are the best part of the meal. Instead, offer desserts occasionally as part of a balanced approach to eating. You can even make dessert healthier by incorporating fruits, yogurt, or whole grains.

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Building Lifelong Healthy Habits

Your child’s eating habits likely won’t change overnight, but with patience and consistency, they can develop a positive relationship with food. Remember, your role is to provide a variety of nutritious options. Trust your child to decide how much to eat. Over time, this division of responsibility will empower them to make healthy choices for life.

You’ve got this!
Child happily eating a large red apple outdoors

REFERENCES

LeBlanc J, Ward S, LeBlanc CP. The Association Between Adolescents’ Food Literacy, Vegetable and Fruit Consumption, and Other Eating Behaviors. Health Educ Behav. 2022 Aug;49(4):603-612. doi: 10.1177/10901981221086943. Epub 2022 Apr 2. PMID: 35373626; PMCID: PMC9350450.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9350450/

Mayo Clinic Health System. Raising healthy eaters: Should kids clean their plate?
https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/raising-healthy-eaters-should-kids-clean-their-plate

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    Side-Lying Hold

    1. For the right breast, lie on your right side with your baby facing you.
    2. Pull your baby close. Your baby’s mouth should be level with your nipple.
    3. In this position, you can cradle your baby’s back with your left arm and support yourself with your right arm and/or pillows.
    4. Keep loose clothing and bedding away from your baby.
    5. Reverse for the left breast.

    This hold is useful when:

    • You had a C-section
    • You want to rest while baby feeds
    • You are breastfeeding in the middle of the night
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
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    Cross-Cradle Hold

    1. For the right breast, use your left arm to hold your baby’s head at your right breast and baby’s body toward your left side. A pillow across your lap can help support your left arm.
    2. Gently place your left hand behind your baby’s ears and neck, with your thumb and index finger behind each ear and your palm between baby’s shoulder blades. Turn your baby’s body toward yours so your tummies are touching.
    3. Hold your breast as if you are squeezing a sandwich. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Instead, bring your baby to you.
    4. As your baby’s mouth opens, push gently with your left palm on baby’s head to help them latch on. Make sure you keep your fingers out of the way.
    5. Reverse for the left breast.

    This hold is useful when:

    • Your baby is premature
    • Your baby has a weak suck
    • Your baby needs help to stay latched
    • Your baby needs extra head support
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
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    Clutch or “Football” Hold

    1. For the right breast, hold your baby level, facing up, at your right side.
    2. Put your baby’s head near your right nipple and support their back and legs under your right arm.
    3. Hold the base of your baby’s head with your right palm. A pillow underneath your right arm can help support your baby’s weight.
    4. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Bring baby to you instead.
    5. Reverse for the left breast.

    This hold is useful when:

    • You had a C-section
    • You have large breasts
    • You have flat or inverted nipples
    • You have a strong milk let-down
    • You are breastfeeding twins
    • Your baby likes to feed in an upright position
    • Your baby has reflux
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
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    Cradle Hold

    1. For the right breast, cradle your baby with your right arm. Your baby will be on their left side across your lap, facing you at nipple level.
    2. Your baby’s head will rest on your right forearm with your baby’s back along your inner arm and palm.
    3. Turn your baby’s tummy toward your tummy. Your left hand is free to support your breast, if needed. Pillows can help support your arm and elbow.
    4. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Instead, bring your baby to you.
    5. Reverse for the left breast.

    This hold is useful when:

    • Your baby needs help latching on
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
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    Laid-Back Hold

    1. Lean back on a pillow with your baby’s tummy touching yours and their head at breast level. Some moms find that sitting up nearly straight works well. Others prefer to lean back and lie almost flat.
    2. You can place your baby’s cheek near your breast, or you may want to use one hand to hold your breast near your baby. It’s up to you and what you think feels best.
    3. Your baby will naturally find your nipple, latch, and begin to suckle.

    This hold is useful when:

    • Your baby is placed on your chest right after birth
    • You have a strong milk let-down
    • You have large breasts
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position